"It's a Beautiful Life"- Genevieve Galvan Frenes

Day 5 – It’s Tuesday. I awaken and head toward the closet. And there is it… the pile. The relentless pile that has been staring at me for months…actually years.

Near the floor of my closet is a huge pile of loose sheets of music, music books, key charts, binders filled with church music. It’s a reminder of another time, a time I wasn’t ready to face.

It’s not like it’s the only pile I need to clear. In the corner of my room, there are scrapbooks of pictures still needing more pictures added to the pages, decorations needed and placed in the correct spot, or final touches and quotes written in the margins. But for some reason, this music pile speaks to me more than the others.

As a distraction to the outside fear and media coverage of the Corona virus, I vow to clear these small piles, these burdened spaces that stare at me like guilt ridden reminders of what I should have done months ago.

But the music pile must be cleared. Just like a cluttered desk which causes me anxiety to even stare at, this music pile is an obstacle, a burden I tackle…just to breathe,

For years, I’ve seen it. I’ve walked past it. I’ve stepped over it. I’ve always known its presence.

I don’t have OCD. I’m not a super neat freak (although I like to be neat). This music pile has been on my mind for years, mainly because it’s reminiscent of a time long ago, a time when my dad was here with me.

And now, he’s gone.

Inside these unorganized, disheveled papers is the heart of what I used to be… with him. Music was our connection, our bond that to this day I cherish and dream about in the sad moments that come with grief.

And as I sifted through old titles of songs, each page brought a different memory. Each melody played in my head— a picture with me at the piano and dad singing in his tenor voice, that voice that resonated with soul, love, and peace, that said to its listener, “this song is just for you.” That was his way.

And as I held each title, I had to toss and sift and rummage through a multitude of pages. I clung to only the most precious songs which I treasured, staring at the notes like diamonds along the journey of my life. The old life was the one connected to music and my dad… and today I had to let some of those memories go.., while others I know I’ll hold onto forever.

So in this time of reflection, as we await what is to emerge in our world, today I cleared a space that opened me up new horizons for me to see.

I felt alive and unburdened and at peace, because although I cherished that special time, it reminded me of what good is still here in my life…my husband, my children, my life, my faith.

I wish all of you time to reflect what your world used to be and what it is now. We need to clear more spaces… to see the good that still exists. It’s still there…

Stay blessed…You are blessed.