"It's a Beautiful Life"- Genevieve Galvan Frenes

I’m the mother of four children.

Think about that for a minute– not one or two, but four.

When one rite of passage has passed with one child, usually there’s another child to look forward to as he or she experiences the same or another exciting event.

The thing is… I’m running out of children, meaning they are getting older, which in turn means, so am I.

For the longest time, I always had award events, singing engagements, talent shows, etc. and my calendar looked like a non stop platform of events. My calendar looked like I’d written on practically every day with a special day for one of my kids, color coded in their color, with time, place, and any items needed to take to the event. I never complained, because I love my children and knew one day those special days would end.

I just never imagined… those days would end so soon.

So I can either look forward and decide to fill my time with my friends (do I know when I last spoke to them– most likely not) and events (where do I go now?) or have more children, which at this point might mean, that after four already, my husband might pass out or leave me. So that second option is out.

Here are some ideas that I’ve concluded might save me:

• Take up a new hobby
• Write, write, write some more
• Scrapbook every child’s years in school from k-12 in chronological order (I’ve done three scrapbooks so far)
• Read more books than I already do
• Stare at the wall and cry
• Get another dog (I already have three, might as well open a dog shelter)

I know you’re thinking that maybe, just possibly, I might be sad, and to be honest, I think I am. But besides the emotions, it might just be that I’ve always lived for everyone else, not just myself.

My kids have been my world for so long that to give my energy just to me, my husband, and my dogs seems somewhat… odd, abnormal, unjust.

But, if I must, there’s no going around this issue. Others have conquered this milestone and I suppose I will survive just like other parents who at one point realize, their children are continuing on, only without their mom or dad’s presence always in the picture.

I feel the sadness again.

It’s just like leaving them on the first day of kindergarten, unsure if you or your child could handle it. It’s like dropping them off at junior high and wondering if they’ll make it through emotions and comments others make. It’s like their last day of high school when you know they won’t realize how easy he or she had it, because only you know the reality he or she will face in the next chapter of their life, real tough decisions that impact the rest of his or her life.

It’s the unknown that makes you feel unsure of this next chapter of your journey. But somehow, in whatever way it happens, everyone gets through it.

And… I will too.