"It's a Beautiful Life"- Genevieve Galvan Frenes

I thought that when I first started teaching, it would be the job that I’d want forever. I felt the inspiration I was going to give, and the lessons I was going to teach were going to mean something. Students would remember me for the lessons they learned and still remember me years after for the topics I taught them.

Today, I know, after 22 years of teaching, that the most important lesson in teaching is the relationship with my students. It’s not the lesson nor is it simple words to inspire and uplift. Those words do help, but the most crucial of all is the connection to the kids.

I wish I could help others see just how hard it is to be a teenager in our world. I know I’ve outlived this rite of passage, but everyday I see kids enter my classroom, and although I don’t know every story or every heartache, I know that today’s student is bombarded by issues at home and at school. Many even struggle with their own self worth. And yes, we can say, “Well, we went through the same thing and got through it. So, they will too.”

I’m not sure this is true anymore.

My students don’t have to say a thing and yet, I see their faces when they enter my room. Yes, a few may have the boredom issue with the subject of English, but most enjoy coming to my class, despite the workload. Some students appear worried, some look apathetic, and yet others look like they’re hanging by a thread, even though I don’t have a clue what they’re going through at the time. I’m not sure if this is because I’m the mother of four and have an instinct that kicks in, even if I didn’t birth these children. In any case, they are still my kids.

And I know my job is to teach… but what is the use of teaching if teenage Mandy looks devastated and won’t say a word? Or Johnny is failing and hasn’t come to class consistently in the past three weeks?

My first attempt is with the student. I pull them into class and just start up a conversation. “So, what’s going on? Is there anything going on that’s preventing you learning in my class? ” I say something to this effect, and usually I can get some information out of the student to get a way into the mind of the student.

If this doesn’t work, I reach out to the parent to see if anything has changed in the home or if the parent is even aware of their child’s behavior or lack of interest. Many times, the parent does know and is trying to help the student. Sometimes, parents are unaware, but grateful that a teacher reached out to them, especially at the high school level.

Also, the rise in issues with ADHD or anxiety/depression makes a student’s life difficult to pull through at the high school level, mainly because they are expected to have things together, to be responsible… and sometimes, kids just have a hard time coping with everything thrown in their direction.

So although teaching is important, and the student’s grade is a reason for concern, the number one lesson on the table is the connection you make with your students. They will always remember the feeling they experienced when they were with you. The lesson will be forgotten, and the words you said might mean something, but the love you showed them when they were yours is something they will hold onto forever.